Monday, 31 July 2017

june and july 2017

I was too busy being busy to do my blog roundup at the end of June. I'm too busy being busy now as well. But I don't want to look like a total slack arse missing TWO months. So here they are all at once. Like a bobby bonus and everything.


Wednesday, 26 July 2017

holiday countdown continues...

My body may be in rainy West Yorkshire trying to plough through a ton of work and get my shit together in time to jet off....but my head is already in the Costa del Sunshine... SEVEN MORE SLEEPS 😎

Sunday, 23 July 2017

holiday countdown

School's now officially out for summer. Woohoo. And I'm on a holiday countdown... 10 more sleeps....yaaaaaayyyyyyyy....

Thursday, 20 July 2017

donkey boy

I thought the school plays would end when the youngest started high school. I didn't bank on him having a penchant for drama. Last night we went to watch his starring appearance in the latest production. He was a donkey. Awesome.

Saturday, 15 July 2017

occasional garden visitor

Part of the fence in our back garden is broken. This means that about twice a week the pug from the house behind makes a break for freedom and does a lap of honour around our garden. He has a wee about 20 times, does some weird heavy breathing and winds Minnie up into a total frenzy by staring in through the patio doors. The first couple of times we took him home. Now we can't be arsed any more. We just leave him to wee a lot and make his own way home.


Thursday, 13 July 2017

horses in heaven

For Ayesha. My beautiful friend. Taken far too early ❤️

Sunday, 9 July 2017

art

We went to Manchester Art Gallery today. 
I'd like to say I visit art galleries all the time. Being an arty sort and all that.
But the truth is I hardly ever step foot in anywhere remotely arty. We sometimes do the Yorkshire Sculpture Park. But as soon as the kids noticed it wasn't "a real park....where are the swings?" it became a bit of a chore to drag them there. The other half is as much into art as he is into doing the ironing. So our artistic weekend adventures tend to be contained in a visit to Salts Mill where I look at the art supplies and the David Hockneys, the eldest looks at the books, the other half goes to the bike shop and the youngest moans his head off for an hour.
But there's a Joy Division thing on at Manchester Art Gallery at the mo and the other half is into that stuff so today we went to see some art.
We mosied round the other bits after checking out the Joy Division. Portrait galleries and everything. Awesome.

Thursday, 6 July 2017

garden update

I've sacked the gardener. 
As the other half pointed out the other week...the garden has never looked as bad as it does now. She's really lovely but she appears to have come from the PotterAndPrune school of gardening and we need someone who's more of a ChopItDownAndClearOutTheShit sort of gardener. The tree outside my office window has become so overgrown that I can't actually see out of one window anymore. And some other trees have formed a massive canopy over the decking so that even if the sun was shining we wouldn't be able to tell. She said she'd do it when it wasn't winter/wet/slippy any more. But then ditched the idea in favour of titivating the new bushes she planted. The front garden looks like no-one has lived here for 6 years. The grass was permanently in need of mowing. And it cost me £130 to hire a skip to put all the crap in that she'd cleared out of the other half's "wild area". Plus she was a bit random in the timing of her visits.
So I told her we don't need her any more. And I bought us a shiny new state-of-the-art Gtech cordless mower. It's awesome. The youngest had it out of the box and whizzed round the garden in the time it would have taken her to have a coffee and a chat.
Sorted.

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

yorkshire grey

It would appear that the rest of the country is basking in glorious sunshine. Apart from West Yorkshire, that is, where it is dull and grey and a little bit drizzly. For a bloody change.
I think it's time we moved. I'm not cut out for this climate. It was so lovely to be actually warm last week and wear clothes that are usually only wearable the 2 weeks of the year I'm on holiday. I'm sick of the grey. I'm sick of the cold. And I'm sick of the drizzle. ☹️

Monday, 3 July 2017

prom diddly promprom

It's been non stop action in my little life this week. After a full-on week of adventure in Hong Kong and China, followed by an 8 hour delay in Zurich, I arrived home just in the nick of time to sort out my little prom princess. Well....almost in time...my sister had to step in the day before for the tan and nail appointments while I sipped on a nice-cold-ice-cold beer on the rather lovely streets of Zurich. But I arrived in time to ferry her about to hair and makeup appointments and to get her home in time to wiggle into the frock and pose for 20 million photos before whisking her off to PreProm. (For anyone not yet at this stage in parenthood and not up to speed with this imported phenomenon I'd like to inform you that it's not just a Prom you have to think about. There's also a PreProm and then an AfterProm. A second outfit is required for AfterProm cos who wants to wear a 300 quid dress all night when you can get changed into a little Topshop number.) I was allowed to attend PreProm (lots of parents were banned by their offspring) (I'm assuming I was allowed because I was a super cool PromMom. Obvs) Everyone took 20 million more photos then they all left on a vintage bus that wasn't dissimilar to the 666 school bus we had in 1983 (yes, our school bus bore the number of the beast) 
I didn't see her again until she phoned from AfterAfterProm at 6.40am to advise me that she was ready to be collected. She then slept all day before getting ready for the PostPromParty. 
It's all left me a little exhausted I must say. And skint. 

Sunday, 18 June 2017

father's day

A bit late in the day....been busy....but Happy Father's Day to the best Dad ever ...and to the other half too cos he's pretty good as well x

Friday, 16 June 2017

totally tropical

According to the weatherman this weekend is gonna be HOT. Even in Yorkshire. My sister has bought a paddling pool and supersoakers for all the boys to use tomorrow, in anticipation of such an event. So it better be totally flipping tropical now.

Thursday, 15 June 2017

new business cards

I'm going to the Far East at the end of next week. I suddenly remembered that when I used to go in my previous life everyone went a bit mad with the old business cards over there. Well I haven't really needed any for the last sixteen years so I was feeling a little empty handed. I figured it was time I had some made. So I got Moo.com on the job and I am now the proud owner of 50 shiney new cards with 25 different pics on the back. Hoping that business card swapping is still a thing.....

Monday, 12 June 2017

marks and sparks

I was shopping for birthday cards in M&S last week and came across these. I shoved them in my basket to buy them. Then I realised that I actually designed them. Ha ha, I'd forgotten! I did loads for Tigerprint last year. These come in a pack of 9 cards....for a fiver! What sort of bargain is that! Snap them up quick while stocks last!

Thursday, 8 June 2017

vote now

At last, it's election day. Thank god for that. I am so over people telling me who to vote for on social media. People I previously liked have been getting right on my bloody nerves with their boring political posts and instructions that I should vote one way or another. I've had to hide loads of 'friends' for the duration because they have been responsible for increasing my stress levels. I will vote thank you. And I WILL vote for who I sodding well like....so bore off!

Tuesday, 6 June 2017

exam fatigue

I am beyond bored of these exams. Last night's revision was geography. I feel I should perhaps sit the bloody thing myself now. With my extensive knowledge of ageing populations and urbanisation I'm well on target to get an A*.
But at least I'm not on taxi duty today. The school is a 15 minute drive away and yesterday I went  three times. THREE TIMES! And back three times! That's 90 minutes actual driving time. Not to mention the time sat waiting outside school like an idiot while she catches up on the goss with her mates. Like I don't actually have a list of work as long as my arm to plough through. 
It's German tomorrow. I can tell you now I am not gonna be any help whatsoever in THAT revision sesh. Think I'll go out tonight...

Sunday, 4 June 2017

summer camp

The youngest has been away with Scouts all week, camping 299 miles away in Torquay. It's been very quiet without him. And a bit tidier. But the little angel is home now. Hurricane Alfie has returned and the house is a tip again :)

Friday, 2 June 2017

menudos cuadros

Yay....my little friends are now available as prints from the fabulous Menudos Cuadros. Go buy one quick, your walls will thank you!
Available here












Thursday, 1 June 2017

may 2017

This was May...
 
   

Monday, 29 May 2017

bank holiday weekend..again

Well that was a bloody fab long weekend. It involved copious amounts of alcohol with lots of friends and a few nana naps thrown in inbetween ..with a trip to our fave place (Salts Mill) as a bobby-bonus at the end.
I went to see The Specials in Leeds on Saturday with my friend. And two of her friends. Who are now my friends too. Cos friends are catching. It was outside and despite the doom and gloom coming from the Met Office it didn't rain and we had a brill afternoon/evening/early morning. Oh yes people. We even went clubbing afterwards! I needed a couple of visits to my bed on Sunday before I felt human enough to get back on it with the other half for our customary bank holiday trip to the pub though. I'm not as young as I used to be...


Wednesday, 24 May 2017

manchester 💔

We only have such a short time on this planet. Not very long even if we're lucky enough to make it to old age. And a damned sight shorter for many people. So why waste the precious time you have by plotting to injure and kill other people? People who were just minding their own business and having a nice night out? 
I. Just. Don't. Get. It.
Concentrate on your own life and leave others to enjoy theirs!

Friday, 19 May 2017

hello weekend

I am soooo looking forward to doing NaffAll this weekend. The other half and the youngest are going to London straight from school this aft. (Bradford City are playing at Wembley (again) tomorrow so they're making a long weekend of it.) Which leaves me to sit in peace without having to nag the messy sods to pick up their crap. I may be called upon for a bit more revision assistance but otherwise I'll have a Do Not Disturb notice stuck to my forehead.



Thursday, 18 May 2017

revision assistance

I was glad to escape the house last night. I positively sprinted off to girl's night at 7pm and did not look back. 
This revision assistance malarkey is frankly boring my pants off. Yesterday I had to test her on chemistry. I do think that there must be something fundamentally odd about anyone who finds the fractional distillation of crude oil and using alkenes to make polymers the slightest bit interesting. I was losing the will to live just testing her on it. I actually nodded off a couple of times.
Only another 4 weeks to go after this. Yay.



Tuesday, 16 May 2017

exam time

The eldest sits her first GCSE at 1pm. It's biology. I might actually sit it as well and upgrade my O Level cos after helping with the revision I'm pretty much an expert myself. What I don't know about mitosis and diploid cells isn't worth knowing...
Good luck Jodester xx

Sunday, 14 May 2017

weekending

Another hectic weekend. Another knackered Dawn.
We went to an 18th on Friday night. (Oh yes, people, an actual 18th. Not a 40th or 50th. An 18th. Like young people.) AND we didn't even go out till 9.30pm. At Night!
Then a flipping early start on Saturday morning to help out at my sister's company's sample sale (where we sell cut price, bargain clobber to ladies of a certain age and never cease to be amazed by their efforts to convince us they "got this one from the £1 table, honest").
Mucho dashing about with zero sitting down time today.
And I am now officially done partying.
As luck would have it the other half and the youngest are bogging off to London on Friday for the weekend. The eldest will be knee deep in revision. This means I get to have some quality time with the sofa. At last. Woohoo. I can't bloody wait.


Friday, 12 May 2017

geek day

The eldest left school today!!

Well actually she goes back on Tuesday for the first of many GCSE exams.
And she'll probably go back to the sixth form there in September.
But in an official capacity she left school today! 
I am SO OLD.
It was geek day. It's a geeky school anyway but on their last day they all turn up wearing red braces and big spex and white knee socks and red ribbons in their hair. And they carry out pranks. Some boys were sent home at 9am for dressing in morphsuits and flour bombing everyone in the school hall. They've now been pre-excluded from sixth form!
Flour bombing is obvs considered very naughty at the geek school.
Happened every day at mine...   

Thursday, 4 May 2017

sailing away

I haven't really recovered from my girls-weekend-away-followed-by-bank-holiday-madness last week and I'm already packing for the next one. 
The other half and I are jetting off to the Isle of Man tomorrow. Well... Sailing off actually. We're going on the ferry. That way we have a car when we get there. 'Cos we need to get about a bit. When we're not drinking that is. Which will actually be most of the time. The other half has a lot of family in the Isle of Man. And they like a drink. Chuck in his cousin's wedding on Saturday and we're all set for another party weekend. Oh and the kids are staying home with granny in charge. They have to go to school. Shame 😉

Monday, 1 May 2017

april 2017

I'm ever so slightly very bloody tired after a fantastic weekend away with the girls....but like a real trooper I have still managed to create my monthly bodged together bloggy lowdown.....epic!

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

world penguin day

It snowed today for a short while. Then it hailed. Appropriate.

Monday, 24 April 2017

hello hello

Sigh. Back to the routine. Back to the alarm going off too early and the dashing about and the arguments over getting ready NOW and the missing pencil cases and the nagging to PLEASE BRUSH YOUR BLOODY TEETH NOW!
And back to my morning dog walk. I waved to 8 people in cars today. That's 8 people I actually know. Not randomers. Although I often wave at randomers. I see a car I think I recognise and frantically wave like a total mentalist. Then realise I don't actually know them. I think it's time I changed my route. I'm beyond bored of the routine.


Sunday, 23 April 2017

staycation anyone?

Things I love about school holidays spent at home:
*No alarm clock.
*No school drop off or pick up controlling my day.
*No alarm clock.
*A general feeling of freedom...with a touch of laziness thrown in for good measure.
*No alarm clock.

Things I don't love:
*Constant feeding of starving offspring. They get one meal a day at school. One! Why do they need about 11 when they are at home? And in between feeds there's the constant opening of the fridge door to stare blankly at the lack of interesting contents.
*The mess. I work from home. It does my head in when they leave their crap everywhere.
*The boredom. "I'm boooooored, what can I dooooooo?" ...er how about some cleaning?
*The "helping". In particular the youngest "helping' to jetwash the decking. This involved me stopping work to sweep up 12 months worth of dead leaves and crap 'cos he got "tired" after 2 minutes. Then stopping work every 10 mins to show him how to do it in a proper organised manner instead of just squirting water everywhere. Followed by me stopping work to sort out the mud completely covering the patio doors. Then me packing in work completely to jetwash the sodding decking. Turns out he wasn't arsed about jetwashing the decking, he just wanted to squirt water everywhere.
If a job's worth doing....do it your bloody self....


Remind me again why I didn't just take two weeks off work so we could bugger off to some place warm like all the smug people with 'proper jobs' on my facebook feed?

Sunday, 16 April 2017

easter bunny

The easter bunny used to have a massive stash of eggs to leave at our house. They were kindly supplied by aunties and uncles and grandparents. And even neighbours. This year the supply appears to have dried up. Apart from my sister, the aunties and uncles have lost their enthusiasm. The grandparents asked the kids if they would prefer chocolate or cash (take a guess) and the neighbours don't seem to think they're cute enough for chocolate now they're 16 and 12. 
It seems that the burden of chocolate purchasing this year falls firmly on my shoulders. 
So, like every job I do (😉) I approached my task with enthusiasm and vigour. I bought multiple eggs and packets of sugary crap and stashed them in my car boot all week. Last night I hid the stash around the house. (Too bloody cold for outdoor egg hiding/hunting in Yorkshire)
The response?
Both kids are still in bed (11.20am) and I've already eaten a bag of Mini Eggs.

Happy Easter peeps x

Saturday, 15 April 2017

good friday

Loving the Easter hols. I had the day off yesterday. It was a good Good Friday. A very good Good Friday. The other half and the youngest went to the footie so the eldest and I did what any self respecting football widows would do in the circumstances....we went shopping. Purchased multiple new clothing items for us both and multiple non-clothing items that happened to catch our eye. 
We were on our way home when the other half texted to say he'd booked a table for two at our local tapas place for 8pm. For a hot date. Nice one! 
Of course I wouldn't have had the sneaky McDonald's if I'd known. But still. I managed to fill my boots. Would be rude not to. 

Sunday, 9 April 2017

sunshiney weekend

Oh what a fab sunny start to the Easter hols! Sunshine and unheard of temperatures, even in Yorkshire.
Yesterday was my ex-niece-twinnies' 21st birthday barbecue-in-the-sun. (ex because their actual-real-life uncle and I split up when they were only 1.) (But I'm still a better auntie than the replacement wife. Just saying.) (Plus he was well weird yesterday. Only seen him a couple of times in the last 20 years but he totally acted like he had never seen me in his life before. Freak!) 
Then last night the other half and I went to see a band in a pub. Dodgy band and dodgy pub but much fun was had.
And today we went to my most favouritest of fave places, Salts Mill and Rad Studio in Saltaire. In the sun. SUN! Like 2 days in a row.
That's summer over now people.
At least in Yorkshire.
But it was good while it lasted.



Thursday, 6 April 2017

spring

Spring is sooooo much better than winter.
Just saying.

Saturday, 1 April 2017

march 2017

Well that's March over in the blink of an eye...

Thursday, 30 March 2017

garden

The garden is finally looking better thanks to the gardener. I'm not a massive fan of having 'staff'. I feel bad sitting on my arse, drawing pictures, while they crack on with the hard graft. And it irritates me that I have to break off from my work to make a cuppa and do some polite chit chat. I was the same when I had a cleaner. But I have to say it's a big improvement on the LeaveItToGrowOutOfControl policy we used to have. She's even gonna plant some shrubs next time she comes. Might be able to actually sit outside this summer. If we get one...
 

Sunday, 26 March 2017

mum's the word

Happy Mother's Day to my lovely Mum....and all the other mums out there x

Friday, 24 March 2017

been busy...

In the last couple of weeks I have:
Done more work than I thought was physically possible.
Waited hand and foot on the other half following his knee replacement op.
Been the family's only taxi service due to the above.
Sat through a 3 hour hair appointment I really didn't have time for.
Run away from home with my computer in order to avoid knee replacement visitors disrupting my work flow.
Had our annual photo booth experience in order to come up with the Mother's Day goods.
Cancelled yoga due to excessive work demands.
Attended the somewhat dull Scout presentation night.
And taken the big one miles away for her sixth form college interview.

I have tried my very best not to moan about any of it because this week I also attended the saddest funeral I've ever been to and I'm counting my blessings that my life is a walk in the park compared to that of my lovely friend.

Friday, 10 March 2017

Friday, 3 March 2017

thinking of you

For my lovely friend Sar, who's currently living through the worst nightmare imaginable. Love you princess xx

Thursday, 2 March 2017

daylight

Woo! Tomorrow the sun is gonna rise in Yorkshire at 6.50am. This means that by the time I've pressed snooze on my alarm several times IT WILL BE LIGHT!!!!! 
It's practically Spring people, practically Spring.


Wednesday, 1 March 2017

february 17

Well that went fast!

Friday, 24 February 2017

mini break

The trouble with a mini break is that it's just too MINI. Like we did loads of bike riding and tree trekking and swimming and eating and drinking and just general sitting about on arses. And the kiddos played a spot of badminton. And the other half taught them how to play pool. But we didn't really have time to do enough of it. What we really needed was a maxi break. Like two weeks. Or three. At least. 


Monday, 20 February 2017

half term jaunt

Woohoo! We're going on a half term mini break to Center Parcs today. I booked it months ago when I remembered how crap winter is. Clever me 😌

Sunday, 19 February 2017

weekend ups and downs

We went to see The Pet Shop Boys last night. God they were dull. Not my cup of tea at all. The other half thought they were ok though so we had to stay till the end. 😴

We legged it back to join our mates in the pub afterwards though. And we got a curry delivered as we arrived home. At 1 o'clock. In the morning. So all was not lost. Apart from a few hours sleep. But did I mention it's half term? Oh joy of joys, we have all week to catch up.

Saturday, 18 February 2017

hellooooo weekend!

And hello half term! Yeeha!

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

feel the lurve

Happy Valentine's Day peeps. Hope all your love dreams came true today.
The other half is taking me on a hot date to the cinema to see that classic love story Trainspotting2. Old romantic!