Monday, 16 October 2017

bedtime stress

Why do kids always leave it till the very last minute to sort stuff out? The youngest has had this homework report thing to do since last Tuesday. To be handed in on Monday morning. He finally did it on Sunday afternoon. It needed printing out. He decided that bedtime Sunday night would be the ideal time to do this. Just as Louis Theroux was coming on the telly. But the printer had other ideas. The printer decided to throw a diva strop. No amount of swearing, kicking, re-installing printer drivers, rebooting the wifi or plugging the damned thing in with an actual real life wire would convince the sodding thing that it was indeed connected. We had tears. We had book throwing. We had total googling meltdown. But it wouldn't print. And I missed most of Louis Theroux. 
He'll probably get expelled today 😐.

Thursday, 12 October 2017

autumn grumpiness

It's now dark on a morning when my alarm goes off. So that's me moaning all the way through to April. Apologies in advance. Roll on half term for a lie in....

Monday, 9 October 2017


Our dog NEVER gets bored of fetching a ball. Sometimes I get a bit bored of chucking it though. Just saying.

Friday, 6 October 2017

autumn v spring

I like Autumn. But it's getting very flipping chilly and dark here in Yorkshire. We are on a one way road to Winter. That can only mean one thing: time to move to Australia for 6 months. I like Autumn. But I prefer Spring...

Monday, 2 October 2017


The eldest's friend, Alice, volunteers for the RSPCA. She roped us into a little dog walk to raise funds yesterday. We had to walk around the lake at Roundhay Park with a zillion other people and their canine friends. It's not far. About 4km. We've done it loads of times as a Sunday stroll. But the way the lovely volunteers clapped and cheered when we got  back to the finish line made us feel like we'd just won the London Marathon.
So that was nice.

Saturday, 30 September 2017

september 17

September. In one easy to understand repeat pattern.

Thursday, 28 September 2017

car insurance rip off

I spent the afternoon sorting out my car insurance. It was going to automatically renew tomorrow. I could delay no longer.
I put it off last year till it was too late and it just renewed. At a price they obviously made up for a laugh to see if anyone would be stupid enough to pay it.
I was.
This year I forced myself to sort it out. 
The price they pulled out of a hat to charge me for the year was an eyewatering £1483.18. I have 10 years no claims discount. I drive a Mini. NOT a Ferrari. I have been driving for over 30 years. I don't live in an inner city theft hotspot. And I am NOT a boy racer. The only other person named on the policy is a god-damned driving instructor. Who moans if I go one mile an hour over the speed limit.
I braced myself and spent a good half hour answering stupid questions on (Other price comparison websites are available. But I couldn't remember who they were. And I was secretly after a soft toy.)
It came back with a somewhat surprising result.
The best price they could recommend was from ESURE. The company I have been bloody well insured with for at least the last 5 years. Probably a lot more. The company who wanted to charge me one thousand four hundred and eighty three quid. 
The meerkat quote was £374.97!! A quarter of the price!
The robbing bastards!
I phoned Esure up immediately and had a proper hissy fit with some poor bloke called Alex. Alex said he didn't know how that could possibly have happened and he adjusted my renewal accordingly... to £363.44.
Cheeky sods! If I hadn't checked they would have been laughing their bloody heads off and no doubt drinking champagne all week.
Thanks Meerkat. It was half an hour well spent. Even if I didn't get the toy in the end.

Wednesday, 27 September 2017

driving lessons

It's our little princess's birthday today. She's 17. Which can only mean one thing. Obligatory first driving lesson. As luck would have it the other half is a driving instructor. Like an actual real life instructor. Not just a dad who thinks he knows what he's on about. He really DOES know his parallel parking from his left reverse.
So that's gonna be a right laugh. They argue at the best of times anyway. It's gonna be all out fisticuffs now till she passes her test. I might go live with my mum and dad for the duration ....

Monday, 25 September 2017

colour rush

The highlight of the youngest's weekend, indeed the highlight of his year, was volunteering at Kirkwood Hospice's annual Colour Rush. This is our third year as volunteers. My sis and my friends and the eldest and the other kids always run in it. I'm not a runner. Ever. So I decided to volunteer instead. The youngest, motivated by the idea of chucking paint at people, decided to volunteer too.
We totally rocked it on the merchandise stall this year, then legged it down to one of the paint stations. We spent a happy hour throwing purple paint at people. What's not to love.
Same again next year 👍🏻

Sunday, 24 September 2017

crammed weekend

Another ram-jam-packed-full weekend has left me somewhat exhausted and in desperate need of an early night. Unfortunately part of the ram-jam-packed-ness involved me inadvertently getting the eldest a job while I was in the pub on Friday night. Clearing tables and collecting glasses. She had a trial yesterday and started today. 3 till 10pm. That's TEN PM. On a Sunday night. When I should be curled up on the sofa with wine. Or in bed. 
So... no early night and no wine for this mum's taxi service tonight...the joy of parenthood... 

Tuesday, 19 September 2017

smile, it could be worse...

I need a new passport. And I really need to get my finger out and send for it pretty soon. I've got the form. I've got a friend to sign the form. And I've got a photo.
The trouble is it's a crap photo. I had it taken for my Chinese visa in June. It's not the sort of photo you would wish to be stuck with on an important travel document for the next ten years. But I don't think having it retaken is gonna help. Turns out I look pretty old and ugly when I don't smile. And smiling is banned by the passport office. This photo is as good as it's gonna get.
Maybe in 10 years I won't think I look so old.....

Saturday, 16 September 2017

sweater weather

Time to get the jumper out. And wear it every day. For the rest of the year. And beyond.
I am sooo counting down to our hols. 14 weeks on Wednesday.
A couple of weeks away from the woolly pullies. Woohoo!

Friday, 15 September 2017

teenage jet lag

The eldest finished her exams in mid June and basically did naff all for the entire summer. She went to bed late and got up late. Every day. By the time she went back to school last week her body clock was in a totally different time zone. Somewhere in the mid Atlantic I'd say.
She has therefore found the transition into sixth form that bit more difficult. Dragging her grumpy arse out of bed at 7am has not been an easy, or pleasant, task. It all got too much for her yesterday. I thought she was a bit quiet. I went upstairs to investigate at 7.30pm. I found her fast asleep on her bed. Fully dressed. She's clearly suffering from extreme jet lag 🙄
So now it's the weekend. She can stay up late. And get up late. And we can do it all again next week. Yay. 

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

actually christmas is in DECEMBER so lay off the festive cheer...

People who post Christmas shiz all over instagram in September. Idiots. That is all.

Sunday, 10 September 2017

domestic goddess

When you're supposed to be doing the cleaning on a Saturday but you nick off with your sis and 5 kids and spend a lovely day in the park instead ...and put the cleaning off till Sunday. Then when Sunday arrives you nick off with the other half and the kids and go to Salts Mill instead ...and put the cleaning off till later. Then later you sit in your office and make an elephant pattern to fool yourself that you're working...
Then it gets to Sunday night and you can fool yourself no longer. So you decide to just clean the bathroom as a token gesture. But you faff about with a little blog post first. That.